Scars

The past couple of weeks I have been debating whether or not to get scar cream and try to get rid of my four scars from my surgery. However, I could never get my self to commit to getting rid of my scars. And this is the reason.

For five plus years I have been sick and sick and more sick. I struggled with my testimony. "Why me?" was a common phrase in my head most days. Why was I the one that was sick every day? Why was I not able to live a normal life cause I was scared a bathroom wasn't close enough incase I was sick. Then I learned to rely on priesthood blessings. I learned that my heavenly father loves me and wants me to grow from this. He knows my testimony is broken and that I need to learn for myself that I am given trials to grow and know my strengths rather than look at is as a weakness. I learned that He does know me, and he wasnt kidding in my patriarchal blessing when he said I will endure great sickness is my life.

I will keep my scars. I will look at them grow when I am pregnant. And each day I will remember that immense darkness I was dealing with in my life. I will look at them and think, I prevailed. I came out on top. I am proud of my scars, and hope they never go away.